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General Discussion Theres a Clannad of AIR-headed Kanon fodder being shot by the Little Busters After Tomoyo on a Planet-arian.

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  #1  
Old 2006-08-28, 00:22
Omgwtflolzz
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Default Clannad translation

Did this because I had nothing better to do.

Quote:
I hate this town.
Why? Because it's filled with memories I'd rather forget.
Every day I go to school, hang out with friends, then go back to the only home I have, the home I'd rather never return to.
Nothing new ever happens.
Tomoya:(Will anything ever change?)
Tomoya:(Just when will my life change...?)
Greenery.
Walking round mountains to get to school.
It'd be so much easier if I could cut through them.
It probably wouldn't take more than twenty minutes.
Tomoya:(Twenty minutes a day, huh?)
Tomoya:(So, I'd save... how much time in a year?)
I try to calculate as I walk.
Tomoya:(Gah, no idea.)
I see no schoolmates around me.
This is the main street to the school, so the place should be filled with them.
It isn't a holiday.
In other words, this isn't the time most students walk to school.
With no regard to that, I continue walking at my own pace.
............
Another two hundred metres to the school gate.
I stop.
And yawn.
And gaze upwards.
And there's the school gate.
Just whose bright idea was it to stick it up there, anyway?
Between me and the gate is that long, steep slope. Nightmarish.
A sigh,
shorter and softer than one of mine.
I turn.
Next to me is another student, standing at the bottom of the slope just like myself.
The colour of her badge tells me that she's a third-year, too.
I don't recognise her, though.
Her short hair dances in the wind.
Girl:"............."
A face that looks like it might break into tears any moment now.
I'm used to it, but she's probably the serious sort.
It probably isn't that easy for her to enter the classroom at a time like this.
Girl: "Yeah, that's right..."
With her eyes closed, she mutters to herself while nodding.
Girl: "............"
And then she opens her eyes,
and looks up towards the gate.
Girl: "Do you like this school?"
Tomoya: "Eh?"
No, she wasn't talking to me.
She was posing that question to someone seen to none but herself.
What was the answer, I wonder?
Girl: "I like it very, very much."
Girl: "But nothing can remain unchanged."
Girl: "Everything that was fun, everything that made you happy."
Girl: "None of it can remain unchanged."
Her soliloquy continues.
Girl: "Can you still like this school, despite all that?"
............
Girl: "I..."
Tomoya: "Why not just go look for them?"
Girl: "Eh...?"
She turns and gazes at me, surprised,
as if I wasn't here before.
Tomoya: "Look for new things that're fun, new things that'll make you happy."
Tomoya: "Were those the only things you found fun? The only things that made you happy? No, right?"
Girl: "............"
That's right.
Everyone's like that once.
Ignorant and innocent.
Tomoya: "Come on."
Line-by-line, so I guess it's kind of stunted. Also, I can't help but feel that Tomoya sounds funny.

Bah.

May do more, probably won't.
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  #2  
Old 2006-08-28, 05:43
jebbito
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Do more! Do more!
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  #3  
Old 2006-08-28, 07:54
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Samurai Drifter Samurai Drifter is offline
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もとしてください~

Please do more! And post the whole thing at some point, or, even better, go for a full fledged downloadable patch. :D
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  #4  
Old 2006-08-28, 16:18
DragonmasterX DragonmasterX is offline
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Quote:
It isn't a holiday.
In other words, this isn't the time most students walk to school.
With no regard to that, I continue walking at my own pace.
............
Another two hundred metres to the school gate.
I stop.
And yawn.
The dots like those stood out to me. Do the other visual novel translators use that many dots too? I know the Japanese like to use tons of dots, but is that normal in English prose?
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  #5  
Old 2006-08-28, 16:55
omgwtflolz
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Nope.
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  #6  
Old 2006-09-04, 20:17
Ricochett
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You, my good sir, are God.
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  #7  
Old 2006-09-05, 02:25
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Well, it's nice to know that when I tried to stumble through the first few pages of Clannad i wasn't off by that much...

Dots, I thought, were a characteristic of games rather than Japanese prose itself.
And even if so, they communicate something not easily expressible otherwise, so any translation that does away with them should tread carefully in my opinion.
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  #8  
Old 2006-09-05, 13:35
GreatSaintLouis GreatSaintLouis is offline
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The dots indicate a pause, change of scene, or any break in the script flow that would otherwise be difficult to portray verbally. I suppose it depends on the translator, but my opinion is that these should be shortened to standard ellipses, with the one exception being those scene transitions marked by changing amounts of the dots:
... ... ...
... ...
... etc.
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  #9  
Old 2006-09-05, 14:22
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One of the more creative uses for dots I've come across is in the Shakugan no Shana light novels, I think volume ... 5-6 or so... I'd have to look it up, but in one instance:

Shana is flying while carrying Yuuji, and he manages to upset her, so, without saying a word, she just... drops him. And to mark the event there's a single line that's vertially oriented which looks something like 「--------------.... ... ..」 on the page. Visually, it's quiet amusing.
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  #10  
Old 2006-10-05, 13:30
dgreater1
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Default Nothing really...

Just a product of my boredom ^^; continues to where omgwtflolzz have left

Quote:
April 14
Teacher "¸Sunohara"
The teacher is calling for some student name.
Teacher "Not here as usual."
I look beside me and there exist Sunohara's seat.
This guy's percentage of lateness is even higher than mine.
We're the only two being called delinquents of this huge class.
That's why I get along with that person.
And, inside the class, we're the only one who can speak freely. We're that kind of person.
The lesson is starting.
I spend my time looking outside the window.
Ignoring all the words the teacher is saying.
After school... One day of class ends.
That guy Sunohara didn't come at all.
Eventually, the only one I've been able to talk to was the girl I met this morning.
In truth, I'm not changing for better everyday.
I don't even go to clubs... I gripped my empty bag and left the classroom avoiding the chatting students.
Even if I return home, there wouldn't be anyone there.
I don't have a mother to begin with.
She died in a car accident when I was still a child. I couldn't even recall her face.
I wonder if I was shocked when I lost my mother... father who was left behind fell into corruption.
He goes out to drink alcohol and waste his time by gambling.
During my youth, I live and even have some arguments with him.
But an incident happened that end up changing our relationship.
He used violence against me and end up hurting me.
Since that day, my father had locked up his feelings.
He doesn't even call me by my name and instead he calls me Tomoya-kun. That manner of speech made me feel like an outsider.
That... without a doubt, made us look likewe're not related.
Just like a closed shell.
I didn't interact with him before and evennow.
I still forsake him, and I'm glad of that.
If he'll be hurt, he can still be rescue.
Even so, father recognized me when I returned from school, and gladly called me like an old friend and started a chat with me.
My chest suddenly ached then I felt like running away...
I rushed out of the house.
That's why I can't face him, my father continues to sleep really late not returning to his own living,
From sleeping in dawn, and waking up at noon.
Until I entered senior high school, he comes late everyday.
That kind of life has continued for 3 years.
Also today, taking a change of uniform and leaving the house before my old man returns.
That routine was pierced in my body.
Prowling the town at night.
And in the end, arriving at the same place.
After buying a box lunch for my supper in the vending machine...
That in hand, I head to the school dormitoryat the slope.
There are plenty of student taking some special activities in our school in order to go to university.
Those students are away from their parents spending their 3 years here.
They are totally different from me who has no dream at all.
I couldn't care less though, and also in this place... lives Sunohara.
He's a former soccer club member, even the school recommended him to play.
However, he got into a big fight with astudent from another school when he was a first year and got suspended. He was removed from being a regular.
And then, when the freshmen campaign ended, he totally lost his place.
All he can do was quit the club.
He also moved to a different dormitory after that because he doesn't have enough allowance to cover the payment for his lodging. The students of physical education also gathers in this dormitory.
Voice "How many times do I have to say..."
Sunohara "But, that was already in a really low volume."
Sunohara is there.
Please forgive my bad translation... that's the closest translation my mind can get.

Are you human?
No... I'm am General!
Jesus!


Because I am general, I need to log-in :p
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  #11  
Old 2006-10-05, 19:04
Carl Carl is offline
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I've done the whole first day, I just need to hear back from Haeleth on whether he's okay with me posting it.
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  #12  
Old 2006-10-06, 04:55
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Misu Misu is offline
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